Sexual Education / Coaching – scarlettbwilde.com

When you need an experienced other

“People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves.”

Sexual education isn’t about you being told what to do.
It’s about you discovering your own feelings / communication sensation.

Don’t know quite what they are ?
That’s why this service is perfect for you !!

What is Sex & why is it so important ?

Sex is the way we connect to each other in possibly, the most vulnerable way. Sex is enjoyed by every animal on earth, so why not humans?

Research shows that having regular sex can result in certain health benefits, including improved immune system function, reduced blood pressure, lower stress levels, and less risk of cardiovascular events.

The lack of sex can have several effects on your life, both physical and mental.

Sex education isn’t just about the amount of sex you have, but the enjoyment of it.

So why do sex education / coaching

If you spend on your sex life, you can and will see a multiplication effect on your life.

The sooner you take action to learn about your sexuality, the more you can enjoy your sexuality as you age.

The Sooner you begin, The Sooner you can Reap the rewards of an enjoyable Sex Life !

It’s a skill that just keeps giving.

Whom can Sex Education help ?

Premature ejaculator – Over-stimulation.
Kink / Poly friendly – Needing someone with an understanding of different lifestyles.
Porn addiction – You’re losing sensation / connection when with someone else.
Trauma-informed practice – Looking to practice a sexual exchange in a safe environment.
Surgery or life-changing event – Rediscovering and Learning your body again.
Diagnosis of disability – How does your body work ?
Transgender – Seeking to understand your new body / sensations / feelings / genitals.
Divorcee – Time to rediscover your sexual style after a relationship break up.

What makes Scarlett qualified ?

I have a few modalities to draw from. I work in a very- non-hierarchical way as we explore together what your sexual point is.

I consider myself an expert in sexual sensation and pleasure, but you’ll always be the expert of your own self.

Studied Sexological Bodywork – 2019
Completed Touching Base SPAT Training – 2016
I’ve been a professional sex worker for over 14+
Experienced in Mental Health Practices
Kink / Poly Friendly

Let’s explore together

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– Somatic Embodied Xperience –

Sexual education and understanding through lived experience

What Can Sex Coaching / Erotic Education help me with ?

LACK OF SEX IN ONE’S LIFE

Physical effects:

Reduced immune system function: Sex can boost your immune system by increasing the production of white blood cells.
Increased stress levels: Sex releases hormones that can help to reduce stress levels. Without regular sex, you may experience higher levels of stress.
Poor sleep quality: Sex can help to improve sleep quality by releasing hormones that promote relaxation and sleep.
Increased risk of cardiovascular disease: Studies have shown that people who have regular sex have a lower risk of developing cardiovascular disease.
Weaker pelvic floor muscles: In women, regular sex can help to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can reduce the risk of incontinence and other pelvic floor problems.

Mental effects:

Decreased self-esteem: A lack of sex can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Increased anxiety and depression: Sex can help to reduce anxiety and depression by releasing hormones that promote relaxation and well-being. Without regular sex, you may experience increased levels of anxiety and depression.
Relationship problems: A lack of sex can put a strain on relationships. It can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and disconnection.

It is important to note that the effects of a lack of sex can vary depending on the individual. Some people may experience only mild effects, while others may experience more severe effects. Additionally, the effects of a lack of sex can be compounded by other factors, such as stress, anxiety, and depression.

If you are concerned about the effects of a lack of sex on your life, it is important to talk to someone. This can be your doctor or a therapist. A sexological bodyworker or even a sex worker. A sex worker can help you relieve the potential effects of a lack of sex and develop strategies to cope with them.

SPEAK ABOUT ENHANCING ENJOYMENT OF SEX

Sex education isn’t just about the amount of sex you have, but the enjoyment of it.

PROBLEMS WITH PORN ADDICTION

These days I see a lot of individuals that are having problems with porn addiction – it can influence the choices we make.
Including:

Risky Sexual Behaviour: Increased reliance on porn for arousal can make it difficult to achieve intimacy in real relationships, potentially leading to risky sexual behaviour as a way to compensate.

Social Isolation: Shame and secrecy surrounding the addiction can cause withdrawal from social activities and loved ones.

Reduced Productivity: Compulsive porn use can significantly impact focus and productivity at work or school.
Porn addiction can leave you missing out on the richness of real intimacy. You might miss out on:

Genuine Sensation: Porn stimulates the intellectual aspect of sex, neglecting the embodied sense of emotional connection and vulnerability that is crucial for healthy intimacy / sensation.

Mutual Pleasure: Excessive porn can desensitise and disassociate the individual as the addiction can lead to a self-centred approach to sex, neglecting your partner’s needs and desires.

Building Trust: The secrecy and shame associated with addiction can erode trust in romantic relationships.
Like any addiction porn can desensitise an individual to sensation which ultimately leads to unfilling sex. That’s usually when someone will reach out.

A sex worker is a great modality to use here as personal, intimate and sexual touch will help one’s embodied self feel again instead of an intellectual response.

ENGAGING EMBODIED FEELING AND SENSATION

A strong connection to our embodied experience can positively impact our lives in many ways: including of course – sex.
We live in a world that often prioritises the mind over the body. We spend hours glued to screens, rushing through tasks, and neglecting the physical sensations that tell us so much about ourselves and our environment. But what if we reconnected with our embodied feeling and sensation? The benefits might surprise you.

Embodiment: The Bridge Between Mind and Body
Embodiment refers to the experience of being a living person in the world. It’s about feeling our bodies, from the subtle shifts in our breath to the way our feet press against the ground. It’s also about experiencing emotions and sensations without judgement, allowing them to flow through us.
Instead of letting our thoughts lead our sexual lives, what would it be like to have a pleasure lead approach?
One where our bodies inform us of what’s best.

SURGERY OR LIFE CHANGING EVENT

Rediscovering and Learning your body again

Life throws curveballs, and sometimes those curveballs can land squarely in your sex life. Whether it’s surgery, an illness, or a major life event, regaining sexual intimacy after a disruption can feel daunting. But remember, a healthy sex life doesn’t have to look the same as it did before
Coping with a physical change or life event can take an emotional toll, affecting your self-esteem and body image. This can lead to:
Decreased Desire: Feeling self-conscious or insecure about your body can make sex seem unappealing.
Communication Challenges: It can be difficult to talk to your partner about your anxieties and needs. Open communication becomes crucial during this period.
Relationship Strain: Lack of intimacy can put a strain on your relationship. Patience and understanding from both partners are key.

Remember: Sex doesn’t have to be perfect or picture-perfect. Healing and reconnecting take time and patience. Celebrate small victories, prioritise communication, and focus on building intimacy in its many forms. You can reach a place of sexual fulfilment that may even be more fulfilling than before.

PREMATURE EJACULATOR

Over-stimulation. On an arousal scale it’s not uncommon for folks to ‘train’ themselves to live in the top quadrant.

Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common concern for men, often shrouded in secrecy and shrouded in misconceptions. But what if the root cause isn’t physical limitations, but rather how we approach sex itself?
Beyond the Physical: Unveiling the Mental Game
While some physical factors might contribute to PE, for many men, it’s primarily a psychological issue. Here’s why:
Performance Anxiety: Societal pressure to last a certain amount of time can create intense performance anxiety. This hyper-awareness of “lasting long enough” can ironically lead to the opposite effect.
Overstimulation: Constant focus on orgasm can actually hinder the natural flow of sexual arousal. Being overly focused on the finish line can make it difficult to enjoy the journey.
Negative Self-Talk: After experiencing PE, men might develop negative self-talk, leading to a cycle of anxiety and anticipation, making PE more likely in future encounters.
Breaking Free from the Pressure Cooker
The good news: By shifting your mindset, you can significantly improve your sexual experience:
Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance: Let go of societal expectations and focus on building intimacy and shared pleasure.
Embrace the Journey: Explore different types of touch, communication, and foreplay. Enjoying the entire sexual experience can help you manage arousal more effectively.
Communication is Key: Talk openly with your partner about your concerns and desires. Together, you can explore what works best for both of you.
Mindfulness Techniques: Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help manage performance anxiety and stay present in the moment.
Genetics and Expectations: Redefining “Normal”
The pressure to last a specific amount of time is often unrealistic. Ejaculation times vary significantly between individuals, and some men are naturally more predisposed to PE than others. Genetics play a role, and that’s okay!

Where to now ?

It’s time to take your sex life seriously

Make a Booking

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